The Death of a Dream
by Moment For Life
Summary: One night which changes Rose's life forever...twenty years after the disaster. Short story. Complete.


**Death of a Dream:**

**December 1932**

The children waved from the backseat of the family automobile and Rose Calvert held back tears. Her husband Matthew arranged his scarf at the door of their home. It was snowing outside, a few inches thick and coming down faster.

''Now don't you worry yourself Rose. I will telephone as soon as I arrive.'' He promised. His promises were empty.

She held back tears. Their two girls Kate and Gloria were spending the week before Christmas at their grandparents house in New York as they did every year, but this year it seemed to hit her more than previous years. She felt her lashes brimming with tears.

She had pleaded with her husband to not let them go but the thing was this year she felt ill. For a week she had been coming down with something, constantly weak and tired. She felt so much older than her thirty seven years. All day she had felt faint but still clung to the hope of their children staying with her over the coming week. Matthew had insisted they be sent to his parents.

''Remember this is for you as well.'' He had said without an ounce of empathy. Almost as though he was doing her a favour. She nodded, hugging her own body. Her teeth chattered from the cold, her face deathly pale but yet she still found the strength to cry.

She did nothing but nod. They had argued this out all week, she knew she had failed as a mother. She also knew that she could not cope with an active ten and seven year old when she felt like she did. On certain days, she couldn't get out of bed. It was only now to see her children off into the early evening snow she had managed to move. Matthew was just about the shut the door without a goodbye.

''Wait!'' She called, holding out her hand. Her head throbbed, her stomach churned and her whole body ached. She felt sick, dizzy, weak and as though her energy no longer existed. Matthew sighed. She knew he was impatient. ''Please, just let them know I love them.'' He didn't even nod an acknowledgement, he simply slammed the door. And then she was alone. The big house which they had purchased as newlyweds eleven years before. She had been so happy. Now there were no words to describe the intense emotional pain and suffering she felt at this moment. She had loved him, believed that this would be her happy ending and that she would feel that new feeling forever. The reality had soon sank in. Matthew loved women, their scent would wreak on his body, the lipstick stains on his collar…the thought which killed Rose slowly but they had two children and she would stay in this marriage for them. The most precious things in her world. So she allowed her children to go to New York while she recovered and gave the marriage yet another chance. She didn't know if there was an end to the deceit but she would stay to find out. She quickly locked the door and leaned against the back of it. She felt ripped in two, her family had just left but did she fight for them to stay or just allow them to leave? She hugged her body, she felt as though she was made of glass so fragile and as though she would smash to the ground at any point. She had been reduced to this mess slowly and painfully in the past year or so. She felt like falling to the ground and giving up…

A knock sounded at the door, her heart fell knowing the doctor had arrived. The doctor which her husband had called for her. It was snowing outside at least ankle deep and Matthew had bothered the poor man. She quickly rubbed her face, wiping away any tears which had fell. She pulled the shawl further around her shoulders and rearranged her hair quickly. She knew she didn't look her best but she felt so much better. She slowly opened the door. She was about to apologize profusely for her husband bothering him so late in the evening when she opened her mouth to speak and nothing came out…

She placed her shaky hands over her face and took him in. He was there stood before her, she felt tears in her eyes. She fell backwards against the door, not realising it was open and a pair of arms grabbed her, stopping her fall, just the way they always had done.

''No.'' She cried. ''Its not true.'' She pathetically attempted to push him away, she was hallucinating but he loosened his grip on her before removing his snow brimmed hat. It was _him. Jack Dawson._

Rose was speechless. ''I thought you were dead.' She cried to him and he put his arms around her holding onto her for dear life. He hadn't been near her since he had put her in a lifeboat aboard Titanic. He could feel himself shaking and she clung to him scared that he would disappear.

''I had died Rose, but I am here. I am as alive as you are.''

Rose pulled away from Jack and touched his face, as if checking that he was here. ''I thought you were dead.'' she repeated, throwing herself at his chest and he kissed her hair gently. He wore a woollen suit, but it wasn't wet from the snow. She didn't even care, welcoming his warmth more than a fire. She remembered Matthew, he had left moments before.

''Don't worry, nobody saw me.'' He soothed as if he had read her mind. She shook her head, touching his face. He was the same person, had the same face. He had lines here and there, a speck of grey hair and a bit of facial hair but those blue eyes sparkled the same as they had done twenty years before. She clung to him for dear life. She believed him dead, she had mourned him for all of these years, she had loved him for so long and now here he was - alive. With no words, her arms were around his neck and he ran his fingers through her hair and closed his eyes taking in her scent, she tightened her grip on him just to make sure he was actually real.

''Oh my God…'' She couldn't quite think of what to say. Jack pulled away, still holding her hands in his and not taking his eyes away from her face. Rose opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She could only smile and try anything to calm her racing heart. ''I am married Jack, I have two daughters.''

''I know.'' He stated simply.

''How do you know?''

''I just know, Rose.''

She didn't question him. For that split second she realised just how long stood between them. Twenty years. So many questions to ask but none which left her mouth, too much to take in and definitely too much to understood. His hands were warm, his mouth curved into the same smile it always did and all of a sudden she was seventeen again.

''What happened to you, Jack?'' Her smiled faded. ''Where have you been all of these years?''

He touched her face. ''Here, Rose. Right here, with you.''

She felt her stomach sink. Another tear escaped her eyes. The fact that eighteen years had stood between this moment and their last moment seemed to have disappeared and dissolved away.

''I saw everything with my own eyes, I visited all of the countries we spoke about and witnessed the beauty.'' Jack turned to Rose witnessing her own beauty right in front of his eyes. He hesitated his next words but felt as though they had to be spoken. 'I'n my mind you were there too Rose…''

Their eyes interlocked for a few moments and her heart raced. ''I found the strength to swim to a lifeboat.'' She began. ''I was pushed under the water many times and as I swam through the people I noticed they became quieter and much more lifeless.'' Rose closed her eyes for a split second, her mind already picturing the 1,500 people who lay lifeless in the freezing ocean.

''I know, I was there too…''

She smiled for a second. ''I wasn't Rose Dewitt Bukater. My married name is Rose Dawson-Calvert, before marriage…I was Rose Dawson. I became someone else right after we first kissed Jack and especially after you made love to me. Rose Dewitt Bukater died with the Titanic in 1912. It was the reason I was never found, especially when I became an actress.''

He touched her hand, he was so warm and welcoming just like she remembered.

The choir outside could be heard singing 'O Holy Night' and he felt goose bumps over his body.

Rose felt tears in her eyes, the way Jack spoke the words made her long for him so badly than she had done in years. ''I was an actress in Santa Monica for some time until the war broke out. I volunteered as a nurse in France and that's where I met my husband. He was young and handsome and took a great interest in me and I couldn't help fall in love with him.' 'She spoke through tears shining in her eyes.

Jack nodded. ''So um, how long have you been married?''

''We married in 1921 and the children followed in 1923 and 1926.'' Rose glanced at Jack who remained silent. ''How about you, no children?''

''No. I never dated or married, I just travelled. I spent all of my time mourning for you.'' He himself held back tears. ''But you…'' He came closer to her and she felt her heart pound. ''I am so happy you found somebody to love, but all of these years…I did nothing but love you.''

A single tear rolled down her face. She had no idea how much of an effect she had on him even after all these years. He must be in his late thirties now, maybe even forty but she could still see that 20 year old boy she fell in love with. Rose's hand linked with Jack's and their faces were just an inch apart. She could remember the power he had over her, the power which made her feel weak and like they were the only two people in the world. Samuel had never even touched her in the way Jack did, not in the ten years they had been together. Suddenly, she forgot everything in her life and there was only one thing which mattered - Jack. Their lips met just once and she felt her world disappear and she was that seventeen year old girl again. Her children's faces came to her mind, then her husband. She pushed Jack away with some force and covered her face with her hands. ''Oh God, I'm so sorry. I never should have…''

Jack touched her shoulder and she turned to find herself in his arms. 'Don't worry about it Rose.'

She pulled away from him again. ''No Jack. I'm a married woman and our love is in the past.'' She told him and he kissed her forehead gently. ''But I don't want you to ever leave my life again.'' She whispered.

Their faces were a mere inch apart, her heart beat rapidly just as it had the night of their first kiss. Their eyes interlocked, he moved closer to her. The inch which was between them was now closed and she returned his kiss. It was soft and lovely, something she hadn't experienced since their last kiss. It was oh so familiar and yet so far away. She sobbed as she kissed him, it was very bittersweet. She let go of her shawl and it fell to the floor and she wore just a nightdress. She felt as though she didn't care how she looked, she felt beautiful and young again. She felt desired how a woman should. He ran his fingers up and down her bare arms causing goosebumps to surface. She shivered as she felt his tongue enter her mouth, something which she usually found revolting but with him it felt natural. He pulled away again. She felt like she was his soul mate, and that a strong force pulled him towards her. His palms were sticky and he felt somewhat nervous. For moments, they simply gazed into each other's eyes, feeling connected. Ever so slowly, Jack leaned towards Rose and inched towards her face his eyes not leaving hers until his mouth captured hers ever so slightly. Rose's eyes flickered closed, and she continued their kiss. Their bodies moved closer together and her hands ran down his back, as he touched her face gently and then her hair. It was like heaven, the tension which was present between them was finally released. The kiss felt different to the first time they had kissed, it was more passionate as if it had been something they had been waiting for all of this time. Neither remembered how they had climbed the stairs to Rose's bedroom, but they had. Lying in the bed, their hands explored each other's naked body. The experience was new to both of them. It was if she had gone to heaven and then returned. As they lay in each other's arms, Rose began to drift to sleep peacefully and happy for the first time in a long time. Jack lay with his eyes open, his arms wrapped around Rose's body, he smiled feeling a sense of belonging, and he glanced over to see her sleeping. He knew he would have to go soon and that he didn't want to leave. Her eyes flickered open, she too didn't want to sleep for fear he would leave. His arms felt safe and strong. She tried to picture her life as this, waking up to him every morning and making love to him each night. She pictured the child they would have had. Her stomach flipped at the thought of the unborn child she had lost late one June evening. She had barely known she was pregnant when she had miscarried their child.

''I wish I could stay here forever.'' He whispered. ''I wish we could have had this life.''

She propped herself up on her elbow, touching his chest and facing him. ''Jack, there is something you should know.''

He played with a strand of her hair.

''There was a baby….our baby.'' She began to cry at the thought. She had pushed it to the back of her head for years and pretended it hadn't existed until now. That had been her only coping mechanism. ''I lost the baby Jack…''

He pulled her closer, wrapping a blanket around her and kissed her head. ''Oh Rose.''

''I always try to picture what it would have looked like. Boy or girl.''

After a moments silence, Jack whispered. ''A boy…with copper curls and blue eyes.''

Rose smiled at the thought. ''I would have loved that child so much.''

''I love that child now. And I love you Rose. I came to say I love you so much. I never forgot you.''

''You were always with me Jack, you always will be. I love you too.''

Gently, he kissed her cheek. ''I love you.'' He whispered. Rose's eyes flickered closed but Jack's remained open. He didn't want the moment to end…not yet…

Her eyes flicked open. She was cold and felt the familiar ache of her body. She tried to move but she couldn't. her vision was blurred but she heard of flurry of voices. She groaned as she tried to focus her eyes, she rubbed them furiously wondering where she was. As her vision cleared, she realised she was in her own room but Jack wasn't there. The doctor stood by her side, Matthew stood by the wardrobe with her arms folded.

''Thank the Lord, Mrs Calvert. We were all so worried about you.'' The doctors mouth moved but she heard nothing. Her eyes travelled to Matthew.

''The doctor arrived last night to find you passed out cold in the hallway he called me home at once. You haven't been conscious since. He believes you to have severe influenza. You could have died Rose.''

The words didn't sink in. She shook her head to make sense of it all and that what when she saw him…Jack…he stood in the doorway in the same suit he had arrived in yesterday. She went to open her mouth but nothing came out when a young boy appeared beside him with copper curls, tanned skin and face just like his fathers….hair so like hers…

She cried out in pain, not physically but as realisation hit her. Jack was gone and this was their son. He knew so much about her life because he had watched over her. Beautiful laughter sounds came from the hallways as her daughters ran towards her, their hair flowing behind them. They ran straight through where Jack was stood. He still watched her smiling. She cried, grabbing her daughters and kissing them so hard she was frightening of hurting them but her eyes never left his. He held out his hand to their son and waved just once before returning to wherever they had come from. As soon as they had left, she felt whole again. Her shivering went and she felt warmth again. Matthew touched her face and she felt somewhat happy from his touch.

''I'm glad your better darling.'' He said simply.

That night, as she glanced at the stars she saw two close by shining brighter than the rest. She felt comforted by them. Jack had come to her for just one night to heal her, to take away her pain and to show he still loved her. Their son exists somewhere out in the universe, having adventures with his father and closely watching his mother and sisters. She gasped as she saw a bright star, shooting quickly through the sky seconds later followed by a smaller one. She smiled, closing the curtains. Then the room was black.

It was the death of a dream.

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**Thank you for reading. Please review if you like :)**


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